Why the quality and condition of underwear matters.
Cautionary Tale of a Hipster
One hot summer’s day last year I found myself sitting in a trendy café in town. The sort of place populated and staffed by hipsters eating gluten free cakes. My fancy tea arrived in a suitably zen Japanese pot and as the waiter bent to put it on my low, low table I caught a glimpse of his pants poking above the waistband of his jeans. His Christmas pants.
Elves perhaps. Or maybe Santa hats.
Double take. Perfect slick hipster appearance. Hipster beard – tick. Hipster clobber – tick. Hipster tattoos – tick. Was he wearing these Christmas pants ironically? Well….not judging from the grey, washed-many-times glimpse I caught.
And that was it. The spell was broken. No matter how good looking and hip he was – I knew – he was a bit manky.
Your Mum Was Right
You see these things do matter. Your mum was right. Clean, fresh pants every day. Every day.
Do you think David Beckham gets up in the morning and thinks ‘I’ll just put these on these trunks – no, I don’t know for sure DB wears trunks but I like to imagine him in trunks, I can’t think why – it doesn’t matter that they’re a bit frayed at the waistband, and saggy in the crotch, no one will see them.’
No, he doesn’t. Of course he doesn’t. And neither should you. Not unless you want to be condemned as a skank by any merciless female who happens to be accidentally exposed to your skivvies.
Buy New Pants (and socks)
It’s not like springing for some new pants is going to break you financially. These are pants. Not some high ticket item like a bespoke, cashmere blend suit. This is the basics.
And while we’re at it. What do your socks look like?
Anyone over the age of 10 should wear odour free, matching socks without any holes. It’s a given.
Plus, there is something small and briefly noble and uplifting about chucking out all of yesteryears underwear. To be liberated from the tyranny of odd socks. To open a drawer and find you no longer have to choose between skanky pants and pants-for-best.
This is a small but important pleasure that is within the grasp of every man. And will earn you the admiration of every woman.
Pick of the best
See more at from Gibson Birbeck, McAlson, Gant and Derek Rose.
See more from Scott Nichol, Barbour, Eden Park and Gant.
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